She Laughed When The Poor Man Came To Marry Her, Unaware He Is A Billionaire

She Laughed When The Poor Man Came To Marry Her, Unaware He Is A Billionaire

  State your intentions. Stand up. Sister Ephuna, please.  I said stand up from that chair.  Your father said  my father is not the one you came to marry. Stand up from my father’s chair.  Look at you. Look at this suit. Where did you buy this thing? Abba mile 12. The hem of the trouser is touching the

floor like you borrowed it from your elder brother.  And the comb. The comb in your pocket. Who walks around in the year of our Lord with a comb in his breast pocket like he’s going to comb his chest hair?  My uncle said for first impression.  Your uncle has zero fashion sense and he has passed it down to you like a family curse.

 Hear me well today. Are you Mark Zuckerberg?  Sister Whis Maka.  Are you Mark Zuckerberg? I asked you. Yes or no?  No sister.  Are you Dangote?  No.  Are you even a small dollar?  No, sister.  Then you are not in my class. You cannot smell my class. You cannot even afford the perfume that touches my class.

 Get out AND TELL YOUR UNCLE TO LEARN HOW TO IRON A TROUSER. TELL HIM FOR ME. My darling, your husband is coming. Just be patient. Oh yeah. I painted  my dreams in silver and gold. Refused every hand that was mine to hold. I chased  away the quiet love at  my door. Always looking past it,  searching for more.

 I told    look at me my queen. Look into your own eyeballs in my eyes.  Who are you?  You know who I am. You have been waiting for me. Marry me, Ephana. Come to my kingdom with me  today. Tonight, now.  Where is your kingdom?  Far, very far. Past the river, past the hills. I will show you.

 But you must say yes. Say yes, my queen. Say yes.  Marry me. [music and singing] And skies are blue. But the only thing real is this pain that I’m going through [gasps] now.  [music and singing] It’s gone now. He was glowing. He was so handsome. I held a cand. Looking for the sun. The quiet [music and singing] good I had

was never none. I only saw the first a clear road for me. MY PEOPLE, IT IS YOUR SON FRANK FROM LAGOS, FROM AMERICA, FROM EVERYWHERE MONEY IS BEING PRINTED. I have come You see this car? 350 million naira. Customs clearance alone was 20 million. The land I just bought across the river 6 hectares.

 I am building a mansion that will have a swimming pool with three levels.  Welcome Frank. Welcome.  Welcome. Yes. Welcome me. Pick that sand off my shoe  now. Everybody clear road. My swagger needs space.  Did you see THAT CAR? PLEASE LET us  My husband,

 we need to talk about Epha.  What has she done now?  Today she chased another suitor out of this house. The third one this month. I heard  my  husband. I am beginning to fear.  Fear what?   Spiritual things. She has been having dreams. Strange dreams. She talks in her sleep about  a glowing man.

 A man who calls her his queen. I think she has a spiritual husband.  Mama.  My husband. Listen to me. No woman refuses every single sweeter that comes to her father’s house if there is no spiritual attachment. We need to take her to a serious prayer house or even  or even a native doctor. That is what you want to say.

 I am not saying we should do that.   I am only saying  patience  my wife.  Our daughter is young. She is proud. She is foolish. These are not yet spiritual problems. These are character problems. That is why I refuse to call the dibia. It would be foolishness. Let us not rush to call the dibia.

 For what is plain foolishness?  The day she meets a  man who shakes her. The foolishness will fall off her by itself. And what if she never meets that man?   Then she will eat  the food she has cooked.       Ah.

[laughter] AH, SISTER. SORRY. SORRY. OH, my driver did not see you. The road  bends here. Take take this. Buy new soap. Buy a new rapper. Buy a new one. Two new ones. I have plenty.  Ah, I see you have heard about me. Yes, I am Frank, the one who just came back with the range.  Take the money, sister. Don’t be shy.

Money is small thing to me.     This is WHAT YOUR MONEY CAN’T WASH AWAY. TAKE YOUR MONEY, take your stupid car, and take your bath while you are at it. Ifa, what happened to you?

 A man splashed me with his car. Big Range Rover, brand new.  Yeah, take seat. Did he apologize? He gave me 20,000 naira. 20,000  20,000 and he said money is a small thing to him. Where does the rich man live if we must find him now? This is our chance. Where is he now? This man. Where does he stay? He is the one that came back from Lagos. The Range Rover one.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Frank’s son. The Lagos boy. My daughter. But why did you come back so fast? You should have stayed. This was your chance.  You should have stayed there. You should have talked to him properly. A man like that.  Mama, calm down.  20,000 just for splashing you. My daughter, you do not understand that kind of man, his bride price alone will be.

I poured the rest of the bucket on him. You did what? On his head. on his shirt, on his white shoes.  My daughter, you are wicked. [laughter] He deserved it. [laughter] No, listen. That is a good move. That is a strong move. A man like that, you have to act hard for him. If you fall on your knees, he will see you as cheap.

 If you pour water on him, he will respect you. He will come looking for you. Watch. I know. So,  my daughter, you are learning. [laughter] These seeds remind me of when we were girls. Me, too. We would sit for hours just like this. Efu, tell me everything from the beginning. Adza, he was glowing.  Glowing how? In the sun, in every way.

The car, the shirt, the chains. He even smelled glowing. I know that does not make sense. He smelled of money. Careful. Eu. He is the one, Ada. He is the one I have been waiting for. Dreamed out of him two nights ago. A glowing man came to me in a dream and asked me to marry him.

 And then yesterday he drove into our village. Ephu, the man splashed muddy water on you  by accident. He threw money at you like you were a beggar because he is rich. That is what rich people do. They throw money. The money does not insult them. They have plenty of it. If we listen to me, be careful. There is something about that man. I cannot put my finger on it.

The way he was throwing money at people’s feet. A man who truly has money does not behave like that. Real money is quiet.  Adza, you are jealous of what? Of me because I am beautiful and you are okay. And rich men want beautiful women. They do not want okay women. So you are warning me because you are jealous.

Ephu, I have been your friend since we were 6 years old. I am not jealous of you. I am worried for you.  Don’t be worried. Be happy for me. My husband has finally come. Sister Euna  Odeni, what do you want?  Sister, I have been finding the courage today. I found it. I picked these flowers from the bush behind my mother’s house.

 I want to tell you I want to marry you and build a life together. [laughter] Udensi, look at yourself. Look at your head. [laughter] Why is your head shaped like a palm kennel? Ha. sister.  And those flowers from the bush behind your mother’s house. Are you serious? Are you actually serious right now?  I picked them with my own hands.

 Would he hear me? Are you Dangote? Are you Mark Zuckerberg? Are you a billionaire? Yes or no?  No, but I will work hard.  Then do not come near me ever again. until you are a billionaire. Do not let your shadow fall on my path and take these dead flowers with you.    Papa,  where is Udensi? That Udensi boy.

 The one with the palm corner head. Tell him to stop coming near me.  Udenci spoke to you.  He brought me bush flowers. Bush flowers. Papa  Udeni is a good boy.  He is responsible. He works hard on his mother’s farm. He treats his sisters well. He goes to church. He does not drink. He does not smoke.

 He does not chase women. He is a serious boy with a bright future. His future is in a mud hot papa with palm wine and one small farm.  Papa, hear me. Your head is fighting against poverty. You want me to suffer. You want me to marry a poor boy and  spend my life carrying water on my head and selling tomatoes in the market like mama. I will not.

 Your mother has had a good life with me.  Mama has suffered. Don’t pretend. A man stopped his car for me yesterday. A man with a Range Rover. A man who gave me 20,000 naira just for splashing me. He is the one, papa. He’s the one I have been waiting for.  Ephana.  Yes, Papa.  A man who throws 20,000 naira at a wet girl on a road is not a man with money.

He is a man trying to look like a man with money. There is a difference. Learn that difference before you make a mistake you cannot undo.    My god. What did I do to deserve a daughter like this?  [laughter]  Frank, we need to talk.  Frank. Frank, listen to me. Speak. My

guy, you are spending heavy every weekend. Different girls, different bottles.  And when are you going to settle down? Find a good girl. Get married. Build something that lasts.  A nice village girl. Not these club girls. A real one. Somebody who will cook for you and respect you and give you children.

 [laughter]  Settle down, my friend. With who? Come on, Frank. You can’t run forever. My brother, love is nons love is for four men who have nothing else to talk about. Me, I have peace of mind. You know what gives me peace of mind? Money. That is my wife. That is my girlfriend. That is my mother.  As long as I have money, every other thing will arrange itself.

Frank, you cannot take money to the grave. But I can take it everywhere else. The grave is the only place I am not going. [laughter]  Drink your whiskey. Frank, THIS IS EVERYTHING. WE’RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD. THIS IS YOUR NIGHT, FRANK.  WELCOME.

 Thank you my sister. I am Chinedu. Your father invited me. I have  come to see you with intention.  What intention?  Marriage intention.  Tell me about yourself.  I am from Umoji. I am 31 years old. I am from a good family. My father  has three wives. My mother is the second. What do you do for a living?  I am a loader.

 A loader  at the main market. I load and unload trailers of goods.  I am the strongest loader in our line. I make a good income. I support my family.  Mama, bring my father here. What is this?  This thief stole from us.  I am no thief.  Liar. Everyone will know there is a thief in our parlor.

 SISTER, WHAT THIEF?  The market loader has come into my father’s house and has been eating his food. Chinedu. I am so sorry. My daughter is Papa. She took the food.  She did what?  She carried a plate of rice and stew out of the room.  Chinedo, please go home with my apologies. Ephuna.  Papa,  you answer me with your mouth full of food.

Did you just throw a man out of my house and steal his plate of food?  I did not steal it. He left it  because you embarrassed him.  He embarrassed himself, Papa. A loader from the main market coming to ask for my hand in marriage. Did you not vet him? Did you not ask him his profession before inviting him?  Ifa, a loader is not a thief.

 A loader is a hardworking man.  A loader can become a transporter. A transporter can become a logistics company. A logistics company can become a billion naira business. Do you know how many of the rich men of this country started as loaders?  None of them, Papa. None of them started as loaders.  Ifa, listen. You are killing yourself.

You are killing your future. You are killing the prayers your mother and I have been praying for you. Stop this. Today I am begging you as your father. Papa, I appreciate you and mama. I do. But I cannot help what I want. I want a billionaire. I will not marry a loader or a tailor or a farmer or a boy with a palm kernel head and bush flowers.

 I will marry a man who can take me out of this village forever. I painted my  dreams in silver and gold. refused. Every  hand that was mine to hold will not hear. The world will teach  in tears.  The girl,  tell me about the girl.  Her name is Ephana. She is the most beautiful girl in the village.

 She has refused every man who has come for her. 16 sutas all refused. I am the 17th. I do not want to be the 17th refused.  The spirits say, The spirits say this girl has a strong head. Very strong.  Stronger than three men’s heads put together. To enter such a head, you need anything. I have brought money. You need a charm. A touching charm.

 I will give you. You will rub it on your palms and on your face. Then when you next see her, you must touch her anywhere. Hand, shoulder, even her cloth. Once you touch her, the charm will enter her. Within 1 hour, she will be looking for you. She will be crying for you. She will be begging you to marry her.

How much? 300,000 cash. Now 200. I beg. 250. Deal. Count it. 250. All here. Rub. Touch. Wait. The spirits will do the rest. Thank you, Baba. Go.  Good morning everyone. Ifa you can’t hide forever. Euna,

 who are you?  A man who loves you. A man who has been looking at you from a distance  for too long.  Move from my front.  Just one touch. Let me touch your hand.  Did you not hear me? Move. [screaming] My  executive  my  executive  MY  EXECUTIVE  MY [screaming]  SPOTLESS  BUM BUM IS NOT FOR COME ON HANDS LIKE YOURS. YES. SUB FAM.

Beat him. Beat him. Well, well.  You think you can run? Not today.  YOU WILL FACE THIS CROWD. [screaming]  TOUCH ME AGAIN. TOUCH ME ONE MORE TIME. I DARE YOU.  GET AWAY FROM ME. [screaming] NO. [laughter]  [laughter]  TELL WHOEVER SENT YOU, “MY BUM BUM IS NOT IN THE MARKET.”  What the  will not hear, the world will teach in tears.

  You  can chase the loud and lose the dear  and find.   You did this to me, BABA. THE CHARM DID NOT WALK. SHE BEAT ME. SHE BEAT ME WITH HER SLEEPER. THE WHOLE VILLAGE WATCHED. The ritual was incomplete.  Incomplete.  The girl was not present for the initial sacrifice.

 For the charm to fully bind, she must be present even spiritually. We must do another sacrifice stronger. Double double double 500,000 cash  now. Baba, yes. You are a thief. What? You are a thief. You are not a dibia. You are a roadside thief in feedas.  You sold me ground oil and called it charm. You insult the spirits in their own house.

 The spirits in this house are spirits of naira and coobo. Refund my money. Get out. refund my money or I will report YOU TO THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS. OUCH. SO, EDUCATE. How’s business? Educate. Obiora. I have a question about these garments. Go on. My guy, when are you going to find  a wife? I have already found her. Who? Ifa.

Ifa. Yes. Ephuna. The daughter of papao. Ifaanya. The most beautiful girl in the village. Ifa who has rejected 16 men in 2 years. That’s Ifa.  That same one.  Educate my friend, my  brother, my confident. Listen to me carefully. That girl will eat you alive.  Maybe.  Not maybe. Definitely.

 She has chased out men in better suits than you have ever owned. She told the last one his head was waterproof. Obiora. Yes. Let me share something with you. True knowledge comes from understanding others. I am going to her father’s house this  Saturday. I am the owner of John White Stitches. I have my own business.

 I employ no one yet but myself and sometimes my apprentice when he’s not chasing girls. But I have my own shop. I have rent paid one year in advance. I have ambition. I am a serious man with a serious future. Educate. She does not want a serious man with a serious future. She wants a Range Rover with a man inside it.

 Then I will be the Range Rover. My brother, may God help you. Educate. So that is your name?  My real name is Ez sir, but everyone calls me educate because I never finished school but I love to read and learn. Beautiful. And what is your business educate?  I am the owner of John White Stitches, a tailoring shop.

 We specialize in aas, captains, native designs. I have been in business for 3 years. We have a steady customer base. I am thinking of taking on contracts for political party uniforms next year. There is good money in that. Uhhuh. A young man with vision. I like this. I like this very much.  Sir, I want to be honest with you. Speak. I do not have a car yet.

 I do not own a house. I am still living in two rooms behind my shop. But I am building slowly and steadily. In 5 years, with God’s help, I will have everything a man should have. And I have come today to ask for your daughter’s hand. Not because I am the richest man in the village today, but because I will be one of them in 5 years and I want her standing beside me when we get there.

  Educate my son. That is the most sensible thing any man has said in this parlor in 2 years. Wait here. Epha, come and meet our guest.  Epha, this is Educate. He owns.  Educate.  Sister Ephana. I am honored.  Sit. Sit. Please. Educate.  What did you bring for me?  Sister Ephona.

 I brought biscuits and wine for your father and for you a small ring to show my intention.  Educate. Yes. Is this gold?  No, sister. The base is brass.  Educate. You came into my father’s parlor with a ring made of iron, pretending it is gold to ask me to marry you.  Educate. What is your business?  I am a tailor.  A tailor?  Yes, sister.

 A man who sews women’s clothes for a living.  I sew men’s and women’s both.  A man who cannot afford a real ring. A man who lives behind his own shop. A man who sws has come to ask the daughter of papa Okono to be his wife.  Sister, I get up.  PAPA, I said get up from that chair out of this parlor.

 And the next time you come to a chief’s daughter’s house, come with a ring made of real gold and come on a real road, with a real car, not on your bicycle.  My God.  My God in heaven.  Sister Ephona, I will pray for you.  Epha.  Yes, Papa.  The day you cry tears for what you just did, I will not be there to wipe. will come when bridge  so hold the quiet close and hold it strong I just came from educate shop who the

tailor Educate the one you chased out of your parlor last week. Oh, that one. What about him? He sent me to talk to you. Talk to me about what? He says he is not angry. He’s still interested. He says he understands you were emotional. He wants to come back with a real ring this time. He says he can save up for 3 months and buy a real one.

Ada is  where is the 10,000 naira you are owing me what the 10,000 from 2 months ago when I bought you Gary and palm oil from this shop because you said your salary had not come my salary has not come 2 months adise my mother is asking me where the money is do you know how embarrassing that is I am talking to you about a man who wants to marry you and you are asking me about10 10,000 naira.

 A taylor wants to marry me. That is not news. The whole village has tailor. The 10,000 is news. This is 1,000. I will bring the rest next week. Thank you. And tell Educate not to waste his money on a real ring. The answer is still no. Efu, I love you. You know I love you. I know. Why are you saying it like that? I am saying it because one day you’re going to look back at this moment at this conversation at you asking me for 10,000 while sending away a man who would have loved you for life and you’re going to wish somebody has stopped you.

Ad don’t be dramatic. I am not being dramatic. I am being your friend. educate.  Ada, you have come.  I am sorry to disturb you. I am sorry. I tried.  She refused.  She did not just refuse. She did not even ask about you. She asked me about 10,000 naira she lent me two months ago.  Ada, may I ask you something?  Anything?  You walked all the way to her shop today to plead for me.

Why?  Because I thought you deserved a proper answer, not just silence.  That is kind of you.  It is not kind. It is just right.  Ada.  Yes.  Sit down.  Why?  Because I want to ask you something. Ada, I came to your village to marry  your friend. Your friend has refused me.

 You have walked many places for many people in your life.  I can see this in you. You are a good woman. You are the kind of woman I have been looking for my whole life and could not see because your friend was standing in front of you blocking my will you marry me? Will you be my wife?  Educate.  Ada, take your time. Think about it.

 I am not Epha’s billionaire. I am a tailor. But I will love you every day of my life. I do not need to think about it  then. Yes.  Yes. Educate.  Yes.  Then we begin from today. [music and singing]  PAPA, NO. LET GO.  PAPA, WHERE ARE WE GOING? To the new shrine we are going.  Shrine? What shrine?  The one at Umaba.

The one the elders recommended. A real one this time. Not those thieves at the crossroads.  Papa, I don’t have any spirit. Let me go.  Ifa, you have rejected 17 suitors.  17? The last one was a serious tailor who would have made you the wife of a successful business owner and you chased him out for a goldplated ring.

 There is something wrong in your head and we are going to find out what it is today.  THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with me.  Then a real dibia will tell us. So  move.  Oh what the  heart will  not hear. The world  will teach in tears. You  can chase God  and lose the dear  shrine your ways.

 Papa, please. No. I don’t want to GO IN THERE. PAPA, STOP. Welcome my children. Sit. Baba. This is my daughter. We have come to know  what is wrong with her head. She has rejected 17 good men. Daughter.  Sit on the mat. The spirit will speak.  The spirit of wealth is a good spirit. I am not casting it out.  I refuse.

 Sit down. Papa Okono, your daughter has no spiritual problem. What? She’s not under any attack. There is no spiritual  husband. There is no witchcraft. There is no charm. Then what is wrong with her? Pride. Just pride. The spirits do not handle pride. Pride is a thing that  the person must put down themselves. again.

[singing and music]  Why? Open your eyes. The mirror can shine, but the hearts must rise. Fine girl, slow down, fine girl, look well. Gold can [music and singing] make noise, but love notice. She walks like the sun day. Everybody turns  when she passes their way. Beads on her hair,  pride in her smile.

 Dreams in her eyes going mile after mile. She says I deserve the moon and the stars.  She know look at the heart only motor and cars. But the wind knows the truth that the eyes cannot see. Not every shining thing is what it claims to be. Mama say take your time. Papa  say good heart is hard to find. But when beauty is loud and wisdom is low even blessing can pass and you will not find no be.

If the  heart’s no humble down  our ancestors smile upon us.  Lift your voices high. SING THE SONG OF JOY. [cheering]  can sound but love is the thing that will  stand his ground. Yeah. Find face no  be crown if the heart’s  humble down when the rain begins to fall true love.

  Look look forever. What do you think?  The stone is small.  It is real.   Some people come with quiet trust. Some will promise heaven with an empty hand. Some will build you peace  from a little land. The loudest drum always lead the dance.  The simple cloth can hide a second chance.

 If you laugh at the hand that brings you chance. If you laugh  at the hand  that brings you peace. You may cry for the shadow you call release. A miracle.  Mama,  my husband. Today I sat at a wedding. The wedding of a tailor my daughter rejected  3 months ago. The taylor is now married to her best friend.

 And our daughter sat in the corner of that compound looking like somebody died. My husband please.  No. Listen to me. I have been patient for 4 years. I have been patient.  What’s happened to  you?  The patience is finished today.  What are you saying?  I am saying if you do not talk sense into your daughter, I will pack you and her together and send you back to your father’s house.

My husband,  I am tired. I am tired. Mama, talk to your daughter. Sunday afternoon. So lively.  Catch me if you can. [laughter]  So fun.  Look at them go.  Pastor, good afternoon.   Afternoon my dear. God bless you. Dal pastor Chuki.  Bye pastor. Go in peace, children. See Good afternoon, sister.

 Yes,   my name is Benson. I have just been visiting your village for Sunday service. I came with  the pastor’s friend. May I have a word with you for 2 minutes? Are you a lunatic?  Excuse me.  A lunatic like the people who walk around the village square barefoot  talking to themselves.

 Are you one of them?  Sister, I am only  Look at your shirt matching the trouser like pajamas walking up to me on a Sunday afternoon. Move from my front. I am not a charity case. M. This zobo is so good. It is. The ginger has a nice kick.  It does. How have you been? I’ve  been well. Ephu, did you see the man at church? Which man? Benson from the choir.

 He was staring at you. The one in the matching green native. Quiet, tall glasses. The lunatic. The lunatic. He came up to me wanting to talk to me. Looking like he sleeps in his clothes. I sent him away. Eu. That man is Chief Benson Ihanacho.  Who? Chief Benson. The philanthropist. He just donated 2 million naira to the church today. 2 million.

 He owns three mansions in Lagos. He owns a private jet. He is one of the richest young men in the east. And he came today specifically to find a wife from the village. He told the pastor he was tired of city girls.  Oh my god. Where is he now? Where where is he?  Pastor said he is staying at the personish tonight before driving back to Lagos in the morning.

 Glory. Glory. Take me there now. [gasps] [snorts] Sir, chief, please. I did not know. Forgive me. I’m the most foolish woman in this village. I am the most arrogant woman in this kingdom. Forgive me, please. Stand up, my sister.  No. No, I will not stand up.  I will kneel here until you forgive me.  I forgive you.

 I forgive you. Please stand up. People are watching.  Thank you. Thank you, sir. Chief,  I have been thinking. I have been waiting for a man like you all my life. A serious man. A man of substance.  I came to this village today for one reason. I came to find a wife.  Yes.  And I have  found her. She is the quiet son who quiets at the children’s Sunday school.

 She has been writing letters to me for  Yes. Sunday school letters for 6 months. is I came today to meet her  in person. I have just come from her father’s house. I have asked for her hand.  The quiet one at Sunday school.  Yes.  Mimi.  Yes. My fiance’s name is Mimi.  Eu.  Mimi. [laughter] Mimi.

 Tell me this is a joke. It is not a joke.  Mimi, he is the man for me, not for you. You look at you. You are not even beautiful. You wear glasses. You teach Sunday school. Step aside. LET HIM HAVE ME. I will pay you. I will give you anything you want. Money.  He approached you first today. Twice. In fact, the pastor told me  he saw you at church. He came over to speak.

You called him a lunatic. The second time  he came to your father’s shop and you walked past him, he decided in that moment that he  was not for you.  But I did not know exactly because you do not look at a man until you have counted his money. [gasps] And men can feel that. We can all feel that.

 Which you snake. You have been hiding behind your Sunday school glasses for 6 MONTHS SEDUCING HIM WHILE pretending to be holy.  Eu, please. If we please,  may your marriage know no peace. May your honeymoon turn to ashes. MAY YOUR MOUTH,  SISTER,  you will not curse my wife on the eve of my wedding.

 I will go to your father’s house tonight, I will warn him. If your shadow falls on my wife again, if your name appears in her phone, if you so much as send her a greeting at Christmas, I will deal with you and your father in court. Is that clear?  Is that clear? Yes, sir.  Get off my driveway. [laughter] [laughter] Why your eyes? The mirror can shine, but our hearts must rise.

Fine girl, slow down. Fine girl, look well. Gold can make noise, but love,    get in. Let me drop you home. Oh, okay. Thank you.  This is your car.  My husband’s  he bought it for me last week when we found out about the baby.  The tailoring business. Educate took on a contract for the local government.

8,000 uniforms for the political party. Then another contract of the next governor’s campaign.  Are you okay?  I am fine.  I am fine. Drive me home.  The Lexus has arrived  and the dust with it. Ad my daughter, you have come.  Mama, good afternoon. Ad my child. You are welcome. I’ve missed you, mama.

 What is this? Ada, I brought small things for you from my husband. Oh, thank you. God bless him. Ezoku, these bags are full. Thank you, Ada. Ada is my daughter. May God bless you and your husband richly and bless my unborn grandchild. Grow strong  what is it?  Talk to us please.  Don’t mind her.

  She has been like that since the Benson business.  Lord give me strength. I’m sorry mama. I hoped Tana would be happy for me. I understand. Please pray for her. I pray for her every night mama.  [gasps]  Papa,  you are leaving this house.  Chinedu is destroyed. Obina gone. The suitor’s ruined by Mimi’s curse.

 She has insulted every blessing our family has received. Now she carries the curse of baroness. The market saw her shame.  Papa, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Papa, you are sending me away.  You will go to Onicha to your cousin Ketchi. You will work and learn to support yourself.  Papa, I don’t want to go.  The boss leaves on Friday.

 Ifa, I love you, but I cannot help you anymore. Only God and your own foolishness can teach you now.    Yes.  Good morning. I’m here for the job. The receptionist position. I am interested. Sit.  What is your highest educational qualification? Senior secondary school certificate. Good. Let’s discuss salary terms.

 Salary is 50,000 a month. 8 to6 6 days a week. 50,000. Yes, that’s the offer. Madam, with respect, I cannot work for 50,000. My beauty alone is worth more than 50,000. Get out of my office. Excuse me. Get out now. Oh my god. Frank  Frank, it’s me from the village FROM THE RANGE ROVER. YOU REMEMBER? AH, my princess, my queen of the

village. You found me.  Frank, what are you doing here?  I am I am visiting my old garage. The one I started out when I was a young man. Do you remember where I came from? You know how it is.  Oh, Frank, that is so humble.  Ah, money is nothing to me. Tools are everything. Wait, let me clean up. We will go for lunch. My treat.

 Yes. God, please. One more chance. One more big girl. Just this one. Allow me, my lady. Oh, thank you, Frank.  Anything for you. You’re too kind. Ephuna, tell me everything from the village. Tell me about your family.  Frank, there is so much to tell. Benson is still causing problems and Mimi is getting worse.

 Ada is caught in the middle. I want to educate myself, but father is sending me to Anicha. My princess, the world has been cruel to you, but that is over now. You have found me again, and I will spoil you. Trips to Dubai, designer clothes,  a house, wherever you want one. A car of your choice.  Frank, I am sorry for what I did to you in the village. The water. Forgive me.

 That was fate. The fate that brought you back to me here today. We will be married soon, Epha. Very soon. Frank.  Yes,  I love you.  Yes.  Frank, where are you? I have been calling for 2 days.  I am working.  My rent is due. You promised me last month.  I will deal with it. Stop calling.  I have something big working out.

 Something that will change everything.  Frank, I am pregnant.  I will be at your place tomorrow. I will bring the money. I will bring everything. Just stop calling this number until I get there.  Frank, you better come.  I will stop calling. 200,000 naira Frank for a pregnancy.  It is what I have Mosi.

Take it. It is final.  What about the baby?  Take care of it. It is not my problem. Frank  Nosy, hear me. I have something [snorts] bigger working. A village girl. A serious one. Her family has small money. She’s going to take me back to the top. Take the money. Sign this paper. Stay away from me.  What paper?  A statement that you are paid in full, that you have no claim on me.

 You are a snake, Frank.  I am a snake who has just paid your rent for one year. sign.   By the powers vested in me, by the laws of this country  and the church of God, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.   Frank, come on. We will be late for the doctor.

 Coming, my queen. How are you feeling, love?  Much  better now that you’re here. I can’t wait to meet our little one.  Frank, don’t move. THEY’RE DEAD ON THE GROUND NOW. WHAT IS THIS? HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM. Frank Chief on the ground now. Hands behind your head,  chief. Please. Down,  Frank. Hands behind your head now.

Please. Not in front of her.  Frank, what’s happening?  Mom, step back. It’s okay. I’ll be okay.  What is happening? Frank. Frank, what is happening?  Madam, you are the wife?  Yes. What is happening to my husband?  Sit down my daughter. I am going to tell you a story. You should have asked your husband before you married him.

Madam 3 years ago, I was driving from Abuja to Lagos. My car broke down outside Onicha. Sir,  a young mechanic from a roadside garage saw me. He fixed my car for a fee of 2,000 naira. He did excellent work. I asked him his name. He  said, “Frank.” Frank, look at me. You will cooperate. This is your only way out.

I was impressed.  He was bright. He spoke well. He had a good face. I told him I needed a young apprentice for my business. Sir,  I took him from the streets. I bought him suits. I trained him in my office for one year. I introduced him to my business partner.  Oh, God.  Two years ago, I had to travel to the United States for a business conference.

 I left him in charge of my Lagos office and my accounts.  I give my driver. I gave my chiefy officer.  Chief, please let me explain. Be quiet.  Then he framed me for fraud against three business partners. He sent documentation to the FBI implicating me in money laundering when I was on American soil.

 Arrested my hotel,  Frank.  Meanwhile, this boy used my money to buy a Range Rover, to travel back to his village, to present himself as a return billionaire. Chief, he spent every coobo. By the time my lawyers cleared my name in the American court 6 months ago, this boy was back in Onicha. Oh god. Oh my god.

Oh god. Oh my god.  The FBI cleared me in March of this year. I was released. I returned to Nigeria last month. I have been looking for him ever since.  The Range Rover. The mansion  were mine. Are mine. Will return to me. The Lexus he gave you is a stolen vehicle from the same forged accounts. The cash he has been spending on you.

Take him. MY QUEEN. I LOVE YOU. GET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT. EPHA OUT. My god. My god. My god.     Oh my j   the mirror can shine  but the hearts must rise. Fine girl  slow down. Fine girl slow down.  Fine girl,  slow down. Fine girl, look well.

 Gold can make noise, but love know they sell. She walks like  the sun on a market day. Everybody turns when she passes their way. Beats on her hair, pride in her smile. Dreams in her eyes going mile  after mile. She says I deserve the moon and the stars. She know they look at the heart.  Only motor  and cars, but the wind knows the truth that the eyes cannot see.

 Not every shining thing is what it claims to be. Mama say my child take your time. Papa  say good heart is hard to find. But when beauty is loud and wisdom is low even blessing  can pass and you will not know. Fine face no be crown. If the heart’s no humble [music and singing] down. Gold can shine, money can sound but love is the thing that will stand it ground.

 Fine face  no be crown.  Fine face no be crown. If the heart’s no humble down, what out? When the rain  begins to  fall, now true love go cover all   beauty fades like weather. Tastes like weather on my jar.